Dorms or Homestay: Where to Live at Waseda

Been getting a few questions on what to do about housing at Waseda, but as far as my experience with exchange students at other schools goes, this should be pretty universal.

You've got three main options for housing when studying abroad in Japan: dorms, an apartment, or a host family.

Dorms:
+ Easy. Usually the default option if you slack on applications for a host family. The school takes care of everything for you, and as long as you pay the dorm fees, you don't have to worry about utilities, rent, or any other costs of living in Tokyo.
+ Great community. Everyone I know in the dorms has good friends in the same building, and I've seen a lot of cool dorm parties and events go down on facebook (as I sit alone in my room with my host family, an hour from school).
+ No curfew. Whether it's family-imposed or logistical (trains stop running EARLY), curfews suck.
+ Convenience. Most dorms are near campus, most cool events are near campus. 'Nuff Said.
+ The opposite sex. Not only are there more of them living closer to you, you've got your own room. Be warned, though- many dorms have strict rules about visitors, so do your research. Even if you can't bring special friends over, though, you don't have anyone wondering where you go when you're out all night :)
+ Cooking. If you're into making your own food, most dorms have legit communal kitchens you can use to indulge your inner gourmand.
- Rules. There's usually a guard in the dorms, and he may smack you down when it comes to guests, noise, or other fun stuff you want to do.
- You're on your own when it comes to experiencing the Japan outside of your campus. You'll have to plan and pay for any travel you want to do.

Apartment:
+ (almost) ultimate freedom. Few rules, no curfew, very little oversight. You get to throw parties, have your girlfriend spend the night, and generally live as you want.
- Hard to get rolling. You usually need to talk, write, and petition your way out of a dorm or host family to get permission for an apartment. On top of that, expect to run into landlords unwilling to rent without a guarantor. Hint: dropping the name of your college, especialy if it's Waseda, Keio, or Todai, can make this a little easier.
- Expensive! Besides the inflated land prices here, plan on hefty fees for utilities, as well as non-refundable "key money" (about a month's rent) and a deposit against cleaning and damage (another month)

Host Family:
+ Language ability. Nothing gets you moving in a language, and nothing teaches you a language like being immersed in it.
+ Cultural education. Living with a host family, I've been to my host grandfather's grave, a funeral anniversary party, birthdays, reunions, a local Shinto shrine on New Years, and all sorts of stuff it would be rare to experience without being a quasi-member of a Japanese family. I've also gotten treated to a silly amount of really tasty food.
+ Money. It's just cheaper to live with a host family, given all the benefits you get out of it. Compared to the dorms, I incur about $60-80 in train expenses every month, but get one to three delicious meals and a much bigger room than a standard dorm in return (not to mention the trips they take me on).
- Control. You will be treated like a member of your family, which means yielding some control of your own affairs to your host parents. I've heard stories of students with 10pm curfews or forbidden from dating, but I get the feeling those are the small minority. You'll probably have to deal with the much more banal problems of 12pm curfews and heavy restrictions on guests in the house.
- Distance. When your friend wants to go get some ramen, you're out of luck. It's 5pm, and you're already at home, so if you want to go get a $5 dinner with him, you need to deal with a $8 (cheaper if you've got a train pass), 1.5+ hour commute, as well as hoping you can let your host mom know early enough that she doesn't make dinner for you. The distance between you and the people with whom you want to associate sucks. Obviously this will vary with your host family's location, but most are at least 45 minutes away from Waseda.
- The opposite sex. Your average host family will not forbid you from dating, but will not be that eager to have your significant other over for anything more than dinner, and will discourage the use of the house as a space for you to hang out. If you plan on dating, your other will need a dorm room (which may also be restrictive) or apartment if you don't want to spend all your money on izakaya and love hotels.

So...where should you live? It depends a lot on your personality and circumstances, but here are some guidelines:
-If you suck at Japanese, stay with a host family. Don't be stupid. You can still have a great social life, and you'll establish a much more solid base with the language.
-If it's your first time in Japan, or you're under 20, stay with a host family. You can get drunk and make friends with foreigners later in life; you may never get another chance for the sort of perspective you get with a host family.
-If you're above 20 or so, know the language, pretty independent, and used to living with housemates, go for the dorm or apartment. Despite the benefits of the host family, you'll quickly get frustrated with the limits of the lifestyle.    

What did I do? I went for the host family. When I got my application form, I told them I wanted a family who would treat me like an adult and not impose unnecessary restrictions on my life, and that's what I got. As long as I communicate with them about it, they don't mind me staying out late or not coming home, and I'm incredibly thankful for their kindness and the experiences they've given me. My only real complaint is the distance; at an hour's commute to school, my ability to spontaneously hang out with people is definitely restricted, but that's a trade-off I'm willing to make.                    

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